Christmas at the Villa on Sweetwater

I am glad I attended the Christmas party this evening at the Villa. Joe was in this private care home in north Phoenix, borderline to Scottsdale, from September 2006 until August 1, 2007. I have thought many times about going back and visiting there, and just couldn't bring myself to do it and kick up all the old memories in my head. But when Jana, the owner, asked me to come to the party yesterday, I said I would do it. I knew it was a good thing for me to do, feel the emotion and the pain, and find more closure. It also felt like I was honoring Joe by attending. When I got out of my car in front of the house, I started crying and cried all the way to the door of the home, but once I was inside and greeted so warmly and everyone so happy to see me, I was ok. Little Pat who loved Joe and called him her brother, was just overjoyed and so surprised to see me. I was afraid she would not still be alive, but there she was and she just clung to me. Also when I walked up to Sydney and kissed him on his head, he saw me and smiled the biggest smile. I talked to him a couple times and he remembered me and was so happy to see me. Also, Bill who was in a wheelchair, was thrilled to see me and kissed me several times. Another woman knew I was Joe's wife, and another one did not remember me. I loved seeing the girls who work there and they were thrilled I came to the party and hugged me every time they came near me. I knew Joe was there with us and happy I was there. I loved seeing Jana and Peter, the owners, and their children again also, and had a great time talking to them. We had a delicious buffet of food- all was wonderful, and then we all sang Christmas songs, very off key and heart-warming, and then Jana gave gifts to all the residents. I am glad I went and know they were all glad that I came. It made me feel good. When I left, I cried all the way to my car and cried more when I got in my car. Not kidding myself it was not a highly emotional event, but I did it and am glad I did. I guess I needed to know that I could do it and that it would help my heart heal, and it was all good.